Katelyn Renee Shumaker

Monday May 10, 2010

Hey sugar!! I just got back from Give Kids the World last night! WOW!!! I know I have been there a handful of times, once with you for your Wish trip and several times volunteering but GKTW just keeps getting more and more AMAZING!!!! There were 18 of us from church that went for the week! How amazing is that?! Because of YOU the word is out around here about GKTW and because of you I have grown in so many ways!

GKTW is a world all on its own! It’s a place where ALL could take note! It’s a world of acceptance, innocence, happiness, hope, laughter and love! Family fun and quality time are of the utmost importance!! J I know I felt that when we there with you in 2006!! Everyone may not know exactly what you are going through but absolutely everyone there cares! What a world it would be if one another acted and treated each other as the people at GKTW (Wish families and volunteers) did everyday!!

You can feel GODs love throughout all of GKTW! I actually felt His presence this trip! One morning I was working the Express Breakfast (in the Ice Cream Parlor) when I felt Him through a father. There wasn’t a whole lot said but you could feel Him through the father’s handshake, see Him through his eyes, and even hear God through his voice!!!! It was truly an overwhelming experience. I know words and descriptions would never describe that moment but it was real in my heart!

I met a “Welcome Back” family our last day there. They actually won a trip to Nickelodeon Studios for 3-days so they came back to GKTW to visit and see their sons star in the castle! Alex who is 12-yrs old was there the same year you were as a Wish child! His sister who is 13-yrs old, Tash, wrote an essay in a nationwide contest for Lunchables and won! She wrote about her family and everything they have been through with her brother being sick! What a special family!

I wish you were still here for ALL the reasons in the world but also so you could go back to GKTW with me and experience all the wonderfulness there! J I am very appreciative that we did have the chance to go and we have all the wonderful amazing memories! Who knew that 11-months later you would no longer be with usL

One morning there I served breakfast at the Gingerbread House. The staff member, Patti, who was in charge of training everyone came up to me and asked me who in our group was the Wish mother. Of course I told her all about you! J Later, close to the end of our shift she came up to me and said she had been singing Happy Birthday to you in her head even since we had talked. She proceeded to ask if it was ok to gather all the volunteers and sing Happy Birthday to you before we left!!! Unfortunately she is not going to be there when I go back for your birthday at the end of the month and she wanted to make sure she was apart of your birthday!! How sweet and thoughtful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we all gathered and sang you the birthday song!

I love you sugar and I carry you with me everyday!! J

Sunday April 25^th, 2010

Hi sweet pea!! Early this morning at 4:25am you had a new GIRL cousin arrive, Ellaina Jo! Aunt Chelle went into labor last night and we all stayed at the hospital for hours. The doctor told us all to go home because nothing would happen at least till morning. Nataleigh stayed overnight with me. Uncle Eric called us shortly after Ellaina was born! She is sooo beautiful!! I think she’s going to be a handfulJ She gave Aunt Chelle such a hard time during the pregnancy with not cooperating during ultra sounds to giving her a hard time coming out! She definitely wanted everything on her terms!! I hope you plant a little seed of yourself in all our family that did not have the honor of knowing you! I will be absolutely sure to keep your memory alive and make sure they grow up learning about what an amazing and wonderful little girl you were! Watch over your new cousin!! J Love you with all my heart sugar!!

Hey Katelyn!! I miss you like crazy, Nataleigh and I came to hang out with your mommy becuase she hurt her foot, I think she forgot how to walk ! We brought her some Taco Bell - Yum!

 We played your candyland game, Nataleigh loves to play it, we've played it the last couple times we've came over but mommy won so Nat wasn't to happy!! and milo kept running off with the ginger bread men!! very eventful! we also changed your page for easter, it looks oh so pretty!  Mommy was trying to help me find a crib set for the baby on the way,it was fun and got me a little more excited!

Ok  well I hope you know that more than anything I wish you were here with us but know no matter we will always be thinking of you and love you oh so very much!!!

03/26/10

Hey sweet pea! So many things changing and I wish you were here by my side to experience them with me and to give me your opinion about things! Every once in awhile I stop and think I can’t do this or do that because you are not here with me…life shouldn’t go on without you, just doesn’t seem right! I know you are in my heart and with me ALWAYS and unfortunately life does go on…BUT…I still feel like this sometimes, more times than others!!

I was talking with Doc the other night and it came up the story about you and I playing hide and seek! J Remember? We were at grandma’s house one evening. There were quite a few palying. You and I were hiding and seeking together!! I remember trying to hide several places and SOMEONE would giggle the whole time in hiding giving us up!!! Wonder who that was?! LOL I remember hiding in the bathtub and you were laughing so hard, I think the more I said “shhh, we have to be quiet” the more you giggled!! You got it honestly though! Whenever I am trying to keep a straight face or trying to be quiet the more I want to laugh!!

Katelyn, you are such a beautiful little girl and such an amazing daughter!! God blessed me more than I could ever describe by giving you to me on that Sunday morning on May 24th! I love you with every being of my soul! You will ALWAYS be in my heart and forever apart of me!! Noone will ever take your place! I love you sugar! J

Christmas 2009

My third Christmas without youL Crazy how time can seem like a million years ago but at the exact same time seem like yesterday! Life all around me going on and changing…it seems so unfair and wrong. Isn’t it against nature for a child to leave before their parents?

I usually write memories but this holiday season all I can seem to think of is what I’m missing without you here!

The last couple of weeks our church has ran a video promoting Give Kids The World. The church is making this our National Mission!! How awesome!! The video they showed was dedicated in your memory!! J What an absolute honor!! How amazing!! You have no idea how grateful and appreciative I was for that simple act of kindness! The video showed numerous pics of you while we were there in 2006 for your Wish trip! Who knew less than 1-yr later after your magical trip you would be in Heaven?......God did and I thank him every day that He gave us that time!!!! No everyday stress our biggest worries were what park to go to, what ride to go on first, what show to see, what party to attend, how much ice cream to eat. That trip gave you an escape from reality, normalcy, a place to smile, to have HOPE and JOY, a place where dreams came true! What a gift, literally a memory of a lifetime!!

A friend came over last night that’s going on the mission trip this year to GKTW. Poor guy he had no idea what he was getting intoJ He let me talk for hours about you, about your trip, and about GKTW!! We all know that I have the gift of gabbing but when it comes to talking about you, I could talk endlessly!! J

The other night when I kept your cousins overnight for our slumber party we talked about Christmas and about baby Jesus. We talked about how he was Gods gift for all of us. Because of that loving selfless sacrifice you and I will have an eternity together!! How amazing is that?!!

You, sweet pea, are my PRIDE and JOY!! You are the absolute best gift God has ever given me!!! What a privilege and an honor to have you as a daughter!! I can’t imagine being more blessed than that! Merry Christmas babyJ I love you so very much and you are ALWAYS in my heart and on my mind! I will carry you with me till the day we reunite in Heaven!!

Thursday November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving sweet pea! Wow, what an amazing feast I’m sure you will have at your table! I have definitely counted my blessings this year and am extremely thankful for every second we had together! Less than 2-wks ago I was in a country that had so little and we, here, have so much and so many have no clue how grateful they should be! There were people who had no idea what a thermometer was and never saw a doctor before! There were some who had to be told point blank either find a way to a hospital or dieL People had to walk literally miles just for 1 small bucket of water and the villages that were lucky enough to have water only got it delivered twice a week. If they ran out you just had to wait till it got delivered again! We dedicated a well in one village and before they got this well they had to walk 5-miles one way and sometimes wait 2-3-days for the water to be delivered before they could just fill one measly bucket and then walk the 5-mile journey home again! There was one night we had no water, we cleaned up with bottled water! They don’t even have this luxury! Boy are we spoiled!!!!! The sadder part of that is most people here at home don’t even realize how spoiled we are! Electricity is the same, some areas don’t have it but if you are lucky enough to you never know for how long!

The people of Ghana carry their children on their backs in a wrap of nothing more than a huge piece of cloth! I had the privilege of carrying sweet Moses this way! He was about 10-months old. Boy he hated me in the beginning! I think our group was the first “white” group he had seen, a little scary for such a small boy! Eventually he tolerated meJ His grandma took care of him most of the time because his mommy was mentally sickL Grandma came to watch for me and give me Moses whenever she could. Toward the end of the week she actually begged me to take Moses home! The group was in the van leaving one evening and she was knocking at the window with Moses in her hands saying “Don’t you want him…Take him…” She was very angry at me for not taking him that night! How unbelievably sad and heartbreaking! She didn’t know me from the next person but for whatever reason she wanted ME and trusted ME to take him! She just wanted a better life for him, she saw me and she saw that for Moses! The last evening we were there she, again, begged me to take him. I think I got her to understand that I couldn’t and why and we parted on good terms thankfully and sadly! Can you imagine the sacrifice she was willing to give just so her grandson would have a better life and have opportunities that only exist in their wildest dreams? ………I can understand her sacrifice but for different reasons and under different circumstancesL I didn’t have a choice in loosing you but still the sacrifice is no less!!!!

At one of the clinics we did there was a mother with 4-month old twins. One had extremely noticeable swelling of the brain. She was told to find a way to a hospital or her baby would not make it! As soon as I saw them I knew it wasn’t good. I just sat there watching them and started to cry! People all over the world go through the same things but not all have the resources and opportunities available! This is not the first time I’ve seen this situation first hand. I think, what if you were born in a different part of the world, how different would your life have been?L L Every parent, everywhere, should have the same resources to make their childs life better and every child deserves to have a fighting chance!!!!

All right sugar, mom’s done babblingJ You know I love you with all my heart!! I am so undeservingly blessed to have been lucky enough to have been chosen to be YOUR mom!!!!! My arms, my heart, and my soul ache for you but I never once stop treasuring every single moment we had together! Happy THANKSgiving! Thank you for giving me endless gifts! I LOVE YOU!

Thursday November 5, 2009

Hi sweet pea! It’s hard to believe this time tomorrow I will be in the air half way to Africa!! Crazy, right?! Its a 14-hr flight so that should be a time all in its own! I will not have access to any computer so I just wanted to tell you that I love you forever and always! I pray that I see you in Ghana like I saw you in GuatemalaJ Can’t wait to share my stories with you!! I carry you always in my heart!!! Talk to you in my prayers like always baby<3 A million Angel kisses and a trillion bear hugs sent especially to you from me!!

I love you with all my heart!!

Saturday October 10, 2009

“Twenty minutes after midnight today 2-yrs ago I lost the absolute most precious person of my life! Those last 20-minutes were the most haunting of my entire life! I pray for those that have gone through this and desperately wish that no one else would ever have to go through this again. I clinched onto my faith when you passed on and with that I continue to survive!”

I can not believe that your 2-yr Angel Anniversary is hereL I would give up everything in my life to have you back!! There are some days that aren’t so bad but others…it hits me like a ton of bricks and for no apparent reason! Your room is exactly like it was, closet still full, toys and trinkets still in the same place, and drawings of yours on the frig! I just recently cleaned out your medicine cabinet and the shelf in the frig where all your meds were. It didn’t feel right pitching that stuff but I figured it was time. As far as your room…I don’t ever see it being time to change that. As far as I am concerned your room will ALWAYS be the same as it was when you left! I don’t know if I could even ever leave this house…your house! Some may think that’s crazy but I just call it comforting and right!

The other day I was out shopping and seen a shower curtain that I know you would just love for your bathroom. I seriously pondered getting it and redoing the bathroom for you! I decided against it but for a split second when I saw it my immediate reaction was I had to show you then reality set in just as quick…duh she’s in Heaven now! Every time I go out I’m still always looking for things that I think you might like or what would look cute in your room wishing I could buy you these gifts. But now all I can buy are the flowers on your headstone! L

You remember Tracy; she always called you “my girl” from Dr. Hawley’s office?! She called me at work the other day to let me know she was thinking about us!! She will never know how much that meant to me!!! She called last year at this time tooJ She told me that you were the first kid that she has lost since she has worked at Dr. Hawley’s office in 9-yrs or so and that you definitely left a mark on her!! Sweetie, you left a huge mark on A LOT of people! Your personality, your smile, your strength, your compassion, and your innocence touched so many people!! It is such a shame you had to leave this world because it is everyone’s great loss; the people who knew you and the people who didn’t get to meet you!!!! But God had bigger and better plans for you and I can not wait till we reunite at Heavens Gates!! J

Saturday August 1, 2009

Good morning sugarJ These last few days, temp wise, would have been great to get you out for walks! I remember your “first walk” in your power wheelchair!! LOL It took us about an hour to go probably ¼-mile down the road!! You would go a few feet then stop and just smile and look around then go a few more feet and stop, smile, and look!!! That walk was so amazing! YOU were controlling your own destination for the very first time! Even if it was driving over your moms foot!! And yes, of course, you cracked up! J I remember when mommy and daddy took you to Toledo for a power wheelchair clinic. You were not to sure of it at first but as soon as you realized that you had TOTAL control of where you went…off you went!! We had to run interference because you were headed straight to a wall and you did NOT care! The smile and the look in your eyes that moment you realized YOU were in control was worth a million words!!! We started the ordering process that day for your chair! The day we brought it home you sat in the middle of the living room doing circles and laughing so hard! Then you started driving into the recliner moving it around and slamming it into the walls! I had to put up your therapy mat to protect the walls!! Oh my how I miss you!!  

Yesterday Audrey spent the day with me. We packed a picnic and had lunch with you! When we got there Audrey said it wasn’t fair that we ate and you couldn’t. I reassured her you were eating all kinds of goodies in Heaven and then she was ok with it. She also told me that you were crying all the time because you wanted your mommyL What she doesn’t know it’s the other way around! I miss you so very much. Everyone and everything keeps moving forward and I just want to go backward to the days you were in my arms and we were giggling about all kinds of crazy things or just snuggling and chilling!! I love you so much!!

I’m sending you a million bear hugs and a trillion Angel kisses today and always!

Have an awesome day in Heaven sweet pea!!

July 12, 2009

Hi Kaytelyn,

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you.  I was looking at the photo galleries and remembering how sweet and beautiful you are.  It's amazing how fast time goes.  I can't believe you celebrated your 10th birthday already.  I'm sure you already know your mommy is pretty special, but I think it's really neat that to honor your 10th birthday, she is sharing your love and memories with children and families who really need it.  It takes a lot of courage and compassion to be able to find the strength to do that, but what a gift it will be to the families you both touch.  Hope you're having a great time in Heaven! 

Amy 

May 24th, 2009

Happy 10th Birthday!

April 12, 2009 Easter Sunday

Did you find tons of eggs this Easter? I wish I were with you!! I am so extremely grateful for this AMAZING holiday! You have eternal life, peace, and happiness because of HIS resurrection! What a wonderful thought!! Because of HIM you have no more pain, you can now walk, now eat, and you have no limitations. In your short time here you taught so many people love and understanding, among so many other things! You had a heart full of Jesus and so many seen that!!! You touched so many people and made such a huge impression! Anyone who was lucky enough to meet you is truly blessed!! I love you with all my heart baby!!!!!!!!!

Happy Easter!! XOXOXOXO